the AXEL Solution to Overpopulation
by If You Know What I Mean
Summary: It’s time to study the subject of population in geography…


**Author's Note:** Uh, well, there is some definite sora/riku, but you can look at the axel/roxas stuff however you like. And this is a two-shot. It's all planned out and the next chapter should be out next week or so.

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I coughed noisily into the crook of my elbow, sniffling a bit before laying my head on the desk. My throat hurt from hacking away like an old grandpa all night, and I was regretting not sneaking in that last ibuprofen that my mother had offered me. I mean, the flu's bad and all, but at _least_ you get to stay home from school for that. Colds just plain suck, you know? There you are, all pitiful and weak, practically coughing up your innards, and _what sort of sympathy do you get for it?_ Oh, I don't know, something along the lines of, 'God, um, here's a cough drop. Could you be quiet now?' or, 'Stop coughing on me! You're going to get ME sick…' or better yet, 'Why don't you just stay home of you're coughing that bad?' Um, yea, not gonna happen. You could be on your _deathbed_ and the nurse STILL wouldn't let you go home because you're A) not running a fever or B) puking. Like that's all there ever is to being sick.

So anyway, you get the point. I was not having a fun day. But in a better light, it was already last period. Sadly, last period was geography. Geography. What _crap_ kind of class is that? I mean, the first unit is all about _cartography_ for fuck's sake. Personally, I couldn't _care less_ who made the first map. THAT piece of information is NEVER going to be useful to me. Ever. And secondly, the textbook for it SUCKS. It was a college level textbook, our teacher had said at the beginning of the year. We should feel honored.

We're freshman. In high school. We don't NEED to be reading a college level textbook. Much less one on MAPS.

Except, I digress… Our current unit… _was_… a bit more… interesting. Okay, fine, learning about population was a LOT more interesting that learning about how maps were created. But it was still boring to me.

I coughed again, earning a few heated glares from the people around me. "What? Never seen a sick person before?" I hissed, lifting my head out of my arms for a split second.

"Mr. Riku… Is there something that you would like to share with the class?" I looked up in dread to see Mrs. Heubch (1) standing over my desk, the teacher's textbook cradled in her arms as she scowled down at me.

"Uh, no…" I coughed. "Just, clearing my throat, yea?" I coughed again to prove my point. She frowned disapprovingly.

"Right, well, be sure to… _clear your throat_ more quietly next time, alright? Now why don't you help out the class and answer this question for me." She scanned her eyes through the suggested questions that were most likely written in a column just beside the chapter text in her teacher's textbook copy. "Okay, Riku. What do you think is one solution to helping solve our planet's over-population problem?" She began meandering back to the front of the class, waiting patiently for me to answer.

I just shrugged, sinking back down into my seat. "I don't know, birth restrictions?" I knew that would never work. I wasn't stupid. But I wasn't feeling too well and I didn't want to try. It took up too much energy.

"That's already been tried with China. Haven't you been paying any attention in class Riku?"

'_Um, no?' _I wanted to say, but I wisely kept my mouth shut. "Okay, well, then I'm not sure. My brain just isn't thinking all that fast today, Mrs. H." She glared a little at me before giving in.

"Alright. Since Riku seems… incapable of giving us a good answer, is there anyone else who has any ideas?"

A few timid hands were raised, but Mrs. Heubch was of those teachers who preferred calling on the half-asleep students, such as myself, just to embarrass them. This time, she targeted a quiet, meek little brunette who was sitting up near the front. His hands were folded across the table and his eyes were darting back and forth between the desktop and Mrs. Heubch's eyes. He knew what was coming.

"Sora, do you have any ideas?"

"Err, uh, well… We could, uh…" Jeez, what was this kid? Part mute? "That is to say, I mean…" He paused, took a deep breath to steady himself, and said in a tiny voice, "W-we could distribute cheaper and, uh, more effective…" He lowered his voice in embarrassment, "contraceptive… supplies... to people in, uh, less-developed countries…"

"Yes, Sora. Actually, that's been done before and I believe it was quite effective. Any other ideas?" she said proudly. Sora just slumped into his seat, nervously twiddling his fingers. And… was he _blushing_?

"Alright then, how about… Roxas. Do you have any ideas Roxas?" It was Sora's twin's turn in the spotlight. I wonder if he's just as incapable of speech as his brother is. I snickered.

"Um, no. Sora took mine. Twin minds think alike, you know?" I rolled my eyes.

The teacher scowled and then began to snap at the bright, spiky red-headed boy seated next to Roxas who was chuckling conspicuously.

"Fine then, Axel. How about you answer for him, since you seem so interested in this discussion."

"Uh (snicker) what was the question again?" _What a moron_, I thought

Mrs. Heubch sighed. "What are your ideas on solving the problem of over-population?"

Axel looked pensive for a moment before staring innocently back at the teacher. "Uh, promote gay sex?" He was soon elbowed harshly in the side by Roxas who looked like he was about ready to spit fire. I let out a small laugh myself. Not a bad idea, actually.

And so the time went, and finally the bell rang. Springing from my seat, I began scrapping my stuff off the desk and trying to quickly get it into a semi-organized pile when I heard some one call my name. I looked up angrily. I wanted to go home. Couldn't anybody see that?

"Uh, R-Riku… right? Um, M-Mrs. Heubch wants to see you- uh, us… after class- I mean, now. Uh, yea…"

"I'm going to miss my bus…" I complained rudely, enjoying how Sora sputtered and blushed.

"But… It was Mrs. Heubch! Don't take it out on me!" he said poutily (2). I smiled. That was probably the first coherent sentence I'd heard the boy speak.

"Yeah, I know. I was just teasing you."

"Riku, Sora, come here please." I waited for Sora to move out of the way before pointedly walking as slow as I could ever to her desk. "Riku," she snapped, "I thought it was you who didn't want to be late for your bus. Get your butt over here already and keep your mouth shut."

I raised an eyebrow. Harassment? I could get her in so much trouble for that.

"So, Riku. I was looking at your grade in my class and I've noticed that while it normally isn't above average, it has been slipping. Care to explain?"

"No. Just don't really get half of the stuff we're talking about…" More like I didn't get why we were learning half of the stuff we were talking about. But that was a comment better left unsaid.

"Okay than, the decision is final. Riku, you are going to be assigned a tutor."

"A tutor? How elementary school…" I sighed, knowing there was no way out of it.

"Um, I'm sorry to, uh, interrupt, but, uh, what does this have to do with… me?" I'd almost forgotten that kid was there…

"Yes, well, Sora. You are now going to be Riku's tutor, understood?" she looked him sternly in the eyes. He was such a sucker for teachers. Brown-noser. "Please get dates settled on your own I expect to see a schedule on my desk by next week and notes on everything you do at each and every one of these sessions when you do hold them, alright?"

Sora nodded reluctantly. I snorted.

"Whatever. I'm leaving, okay? Or else I'll miss my bus."

"Fine, but don't forget to set those dates. Your semester grade can't handle another F unless you plan on redoing this class next year." I coughed.

Stupid school.

Stupid colds.

Stupid grades.

…

Stupid brown-nosers.

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This is an actual name. It's pronounced hibsh. Kinda weird huh?

Sweet. I think I just created my own word xDDD


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